There is a familiar ritual I see at all of my son’s hockey games. Players shaking hands with each other, the refs and coaching staff. What is unusual about this particular ritual is that it happens before the game, not after. Why? Because two seasons ago, a Bantam player who was upset with a game’s outcome and in particular the officiating, punched a ref during post-game handshakes. Of course the player was banned from the league, but the legacy of his infraction remains with the now pre-game handshakes, which the league mandated in what it considered a preventative measure. This has always frustrated me because league organizers have essentially surrendered to a single act of violence in what at best has become a permanent reminder of their failure (and perhaps unwillingness) to use this as a teachable moment for kids on the importance of sportsmanship.
It’s become an all too familiar sight in international hockey competition, players on the losing team refusing to wear second-place medals, or tossing them away, or like today, firing curses at players or fans of the other team. At that’s to say nothing of the taunting that goes on by some of the players on the winning side.
Now, before you go off on a rant about how athletes at this level are supposed to be tough, and they’re not playing for participation ribbons nonsense, yes I get all that. This idea that placing a high value on respect, or wanting to demonstrate a modicum of emphathy, somehow weakens the game is absurd. If it’s toughness you expect and living up to the high level of play, then the same thing should be expected in a player’s behaviour. World class goes far beyond level of play, it should also be a showcase of character. What is tougher than asking someone to swallow their pride and sincerely congratulate a player on the winning team or not gloat about your success? It is, after all, the world stage and players representing their countries owe their national audience, a good number of them kids, a demonstration of the strength of their character.
We don't have to look much further than the hateful and cowardly attacks on Team Canada's captain Max Comtois to wonder aloud about fan obsession with winning. It doesn't weaken the game to maybe show some sympathy, resepect and yes, appreciation for a guy who's heartbroken and devastated that he couldn't give his country the victory he himself so desperately wanted. Most, if not all, of the people who spewed this hate were adults. What kind of example are we setting for future generations? Be it a player or a sofa-bound wannabe, it's just not okay.
We all know chirping is part of the game, as childish as it is, but at the end of the day, reaching a high level of sports competition is a privilege and a responsibility to everyone a player represents and those who supported her or him on the journey. The future of the game is in the hands of millions of young people who aspire to reach the world’s highest stage. Somebody has to be the adult in the room and remind them that for all of the skill and hard work that goes into their achievements, there are millions more who may never get the opportunity. That win or lose, how they act after the final whistle is just as important as how they played. Otherwise, we become a culture obsessed with winning at the cost of our humanity, and no medal is worth that.
